I was waking up with a huge “tension headache” every single morning.
One of those headaches that makes you unproductive for the whole day.
Tight neck and traps… it hurt to turn my head, it was debilitating.
For weeks and months I couldn’t figure out why I was waking up with a headache.
Until one day…
I finally came to the realization that I was going to bed every night and the last thing I was thinking about was….
“I didn’t spend enough time with the kids”.
“I wasn’t present enough”.
“I’m a bad mom, I yelled at them so much today”.
“I should have…”
I know you know what I’m talking about.
THE DREADED MOM-GUILT.
Every night I was going to bed thinking about how I was failing as a mom.
I only replayed all the things I felt I wasn’t doing good enough.
Can you imagine the kind of stress that was giving me.
No wonder I was waking up with a stress headache.
So one day, I decided I’d had enough.
I was no longer gonna beat myself up every night.
- I started thinking about all the good things I do for my kids.
- I started thanking God that I can work from home and pick up my kids from school and give them a hot lunch.
- That I can take them to all their after school activities.
- That I do spend a lot of time with them.
And I gave myself grace for being a working mom and trying to do all the things.
I flipped the switch and instead of seeing being a working mom as something that could hurt my kids….
I started thinking about what a role model I was being for my kids.
Teaching them to be independent and work hard and follow your dreams and find something to be passionate about, and discipline.
I decided that day to make a change.
You know me, I’m all about creating habits, stacking habits, creating good routines.
So, I decided that right before going to bed, I was going to do affirmations.
I was going to think about all the good things I did with and for my kids.
I was going to thank God for all the opportunities I had that day to be with my kids.
And guess what happened….
NO MORE HEADACHES.
I started waking up in the mornings feeling great again.
I WAS LIVING WITH STRESS HEADACHES because I wasn’t giving myself grace.
I was being so hard on myself.
And focusing on all my shortcomings instead of focusing on positive things.
So, what about you?
Are you beating yourself up about something?
Maybe its not the mom thing…
Maybe for you, it’s about what you ate, or what exercise you didn’t do, or about your marriage or work/career.
What do you need to stop thinking negatively about?
What conversation are you having with yourself daily that you need to change?
Feel free to REPLY to this email and let me know.
I always talk about how much freeing from shame there is when you can speak your truth to someone. When you can vent and admit something you’re having a hard time with.
It loses its control over you!!
You know….. secrecy makes the shame even greater.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of… we are all perfectly imperfect moms doing the best we can and when we can join together and support each other….. amazing things happen.
I look forward to hearing about what’s causing your stress or shame and for you to finally put an end to it and turn it around.
Consciously thinking about positive things works.
Purposely shutting out the negative self talk works.
It takes effort.
You have to be intentional about it.
I hope you do it 🙂
Check out this video on how to give yourself grace: