A Real Mom’s Perspective On The First Day Of School

I love summer………. I really do!

I remember as a child having a blast.

My mom was a “stay at home mom” and she had live in help.

I didn’t really go to camp much… she was our summer camp.

 

Every day we had a different plan.

We would go to the movies… pay for ONE and watch 3 in a row…..

We would spend days at the beach and water parks…. you name it, we did it.

I have really great memories of summer.

 

I don’t know how my mom did it…..

Maybe cuz she didn’t work, maybe cuz she had help, maybe cuz she really enjoyed it…..

Who knows!

 

But fast forward a ton of years and now I have my own kids!

I’m a working mom… I have a crazy amazing growing business that I love and am passionate about, I wake up early daily, I go to bed late, my kids are in a million activities…..  I’m busy…. and….. tired often…..

 

And so here starts the SUMMER MOM GUILT.

Half inflicted by myself, half inflicted by my mother.

 

I mean when the last day of school arrives, I am gleaming with joy…

I can’t wait to have a break from homework and routine and forcing early bed times, and rushing.

And just look forward to spending quality time with the kids, being more sporadic and spontaneous and making fun playdates with my kids and their friends, and enjoying watching them play outside and go in the pool and vacations.

AND SUMMER CAMP.

 

Why does that give me mom guilt?

Does it give you guilt to send them to camp during summer?

 

On the one hand I want them to sleep in and rest…… and take a break.

But on the other hand, they so much enjoy being at camp with their friends, and being active.

I mean, I consider myself a “fun mom” but I DO NOT have the energy to entertain them 6-8 hours a day like they do in camp.

And the weeks they are not in camp, I find myself fighting them all the time to get off the darn Ipad and video games.

 

THE TUG OF WAR…

CAMP OR STAY HOME

 

So we do both, half the summer at home and half the summer in camp.

 

And come to find out…. at the end of summer….. my kids were BEGGING me to let them go to camp one more week.

We gotta banish this darn mom guilt… whether its self inflicted or influenced by a loved one.

 

We had a great mix of summer this year.

We did 4 weeks of gymnastics camp, dance camp, cheer camp, basketball camp, athletics camps….

 

And we did playdate after playdate after playdate…..

Sleepovers and sleepovers…. usually at my house.

I feel like I had at least 5 kids at my house on an ongoing basis.

Serving food…. lots of food….

Snacks….. ongoing snacks all the time.

Dessert….

Omg I literally would go to Costco and stock up on gluten free chicken nuggets, bagel pizza bites and loads of ice cream.

Yep, I was a fun mom this summer 🙂

 

I work from home….. to say the least…… it was EXTREMELY HARD to get work done.

Since I have my own business, I was able to give myself and kids the freedom to have the down time and free time.

But if you are an entrepreneur, then you know, if you don’t work, the needle doesn’t move, the business doesn’t grow.

 

INSERT…. WORK GUILT.

 

Some days I felt unproductive and guilty for hanging out in my bathing suit, answering emails by the pool… just doing what it took to get buy but not really moving forward.

 

That is not an easy task for a type A person like myself.

 

But I enjoyed the summer so much and I am SO BEYOND GRATEFUL TO GOD for allowing my the flexibility to be able to enjoy my kids this summer, have a million playdates and sleep overs and lounge around with them.

 

So here comes the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

 

I’m not sure how I feel to be honest.

 

My 4 year old daughter starts Pre-K 4 full time… 5 days a week 8am-2pm.

Which means I will have 5 days of 6 hours of free time to actually work more than 2 hours in a row…. go to the gym at NOT THE CRACK OF DAWN (5AM), and can afford a lunch or coffee date with a girlfriend here and there without feeling like I “should be working” since its hard to get work done from home with kids home.

 

So a part of me wants to jump up and down and screammmmmmm……

FREEEEEEEDDDDDDDOOOOOOMMMMM

 

AND….

 

A part of me wants to curl up in a ball and SOB!

 

My last baby…. its gone.

No more Sofia the First at 10am cuddling in bed with her.

No more Walmart, Target, Home Goods, Trader Joes and Marshalls trips in the middle of the morning, buying her cute outfits and random toys.

My partner in crime…..

I loved Tuesdays and Thursdays cuz it was our time to be together.

 

Some days I was like….

If only I could run these errands on my own I would get done faster…..I can’t wait til shes in school.

And other days……

I would savor every moment of snuggling in bed in the middle of the morning, smelling her delicious morning breath (moms you know what I mean),  eating in bed and singing in the car and going to the toy section of every store.

 

I’m going to miss that so much.

 

I will no longer have a child at home during the day.

So am I excited about the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL?

I’m not quite sure.

 

I’m happy and excited to have a little time to myself, to be able to for the first time in a long time get my nails done by myself, to have 4 hours straight to get work done, to go to the gym at 9am like real house wife, to have coffee with a friend in the middle of the day……. to have some hours of silence…….. to take care of me a little more……. to not try to rush and multi-task the entire day…

 

But I also want to cry!

 

I’m gonna miss those days of waking up at 9-10am with my babies…. lying in bed arguing over what movie we can agree to all watch…. making all kinds of different breakfasts…. watching them change from bathing suit to clothes 10 times a day and doing  20 loads of laundry a week, having a house packed with kids… seeing them laugh and enjoy our house…. even just to be able to see them lying on the couch playing with their ipads while I “TRY” to get work done.. but just knowing they are there and I can steal a kiss or a hug whenever I damn please.

I’m going to miss that!

 

I’m going to have so much fun with my mom friends having coffee and lunch in the mid day.

But I’m so gonna miss those laughs, even the fights…. and the kisses and hugs.

 

I’m going to get more work done now than I ever have.

But I’ll be missing my “mini-me”, my companion, my partner in crime.

 

I think I will feel alone some days, not having her or one of them around.

I mean, I haven’t had that feeling in 9 years.

 

This will be a milestone for me as a mother.

 

I think when I first drop them I will feel a glimpse of relief, of freedom or quietness and peace.

And then……

I think I may cry, thinking my kids are growing too fast, they won’t be around as much.

I’ll be all alone at home every weekday from now until forever.

A huge change for me in the last 9 years.

 

So all in all, my fellow mom friend.

Feel what you want to feel this FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

And if you feel just happy, so be it, its ok to feel that way.

I get it!

 

And if you feel sad, its ok too.

It’s hard to be a mother and each milestone is so hard.

And they are such a big part of your life that when their time with you changes, it just makes you……. 

want to cry….

 

Today, as I see my kids play in the pool, jumping from raft to raft, taking their goggles on and off and going from pool to golf cart and back to pool and baseball and playroom and snacks and back to pool………..  I sit here writing this with a lot of EMOTION.

 

Sad and happy.

So let yourself feel what you feel and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.

 

But I do tell you this….

Enjoy every single dang moment.

And take them for what they are.

 

Happy first day of school {FREEDOM} momma!

And don’t ya feel bad for feeling that way.

 

As for me, I can’t wait to drop them off and I can’t wait to be on my way to pick them up 🙂